I Apologize If I Haven’t Been the Friend You Deserve: My Sheldon-ish Confession

I tend to associate myself a lot with Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory and yeah — not 100% but surely more than 70%.

Before I get into some of those details, I would like to quote a line from the last episode — from his Nobel acceptance speech which is very close to me: “I apologize if I haven’t been the friend you deserve. But I want you to know in my way, I love you all.”

Seriously, I know I have not been the best of friends that you all have been to me. Yes, I am sharing this with my close friends and want them to know — now when I look back, I might have been a jerk at times and at times too cold to even understand your point of view. I still struggle with human emotions — totally like Sheldon — but it wasn’t intentional. You all have been an integral part of my life, maybe more so when we were together meeting daily, but even now too — so much of myself has been influenced and shaped by your love, presence, motivation and so much more.

I have been encouraged, sustained, inspired, and tolerated by the greatest group of friends anyone could ever have. I’d like to ask you all to stand — I thank you All!!

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Some of the similarities with Sheldon

— My Spot: Maybe everyone has it, but I surely do and I can’t tolerate anyone sitting there. Like Sheldon has his spot on the sofa, I have my desk chair at home, my spot in the hall and even though I am thousand miles away, I just can’t tolerate anyone sitting there :P Well, I don’t have specific reasons like draft and ventilation etc. to choose my spot, although over time I would gravitate to a fixed spot and then I just named it so :P Nowadays we have flexi-desk policy at the workplace and I struggled a bit at the start but got used to it. I took it as a growth challenge to get comfortable by going outside my comfort zone. In one episode he was so annoyed when Amy moved his books/bag from one location to another and I was like — that is so me. I want my stuff to be exactly where I kept it since in my own world that is where they belong — well organized.

— Touch: Hmm — how do I put it — but yeah I feel uncomfortable or rather I don’t initiate or feel too comfy in human touch. I remember as a kid I used to get so irritated and my brother would intentionally poke me to irritate me. It is only after watching Big Bang Theory that I realized this is not something specific to me but something far deeper. Sometimes even small things like handshakes become awkward — combine that with my introverted nature and that just portrays me as arrogant at times. Anyway — it is what it is :P

— Time Table and Planning: Yeah — I lovvveee to have that. I like to be on time and at times early and need to have everything planned. I need to know well in advance about my travel schedule, the connecting mode of travel and so much more. Also I factor in buffer time for safety and that doesn’t always sit well with others.

— Safety Freak: You have no idea how scared I am to walk on our footpaths — as they keep getting hijacked by two-wheelers and street side vendors. I love to buckle up even when I am on the second row seat. I think that is enough to cover the safety freak thing. I am sure and happy to know that many of you buckle up too in the rear seat — that’s how it should be.

Here I am just trying to tick as many boxes as possible that help me connect with Sheldon :P There may be more annoying things that I might connect with him on, but I don’t want to pour out everything here.

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Some of the key differences

— Eidetic memory: That is so central to Sheldon — he remembers everything, like even something from decades back. That reminds me of his enemy list too :P Anyways — yeah he remembers everything, has a PhD and is just so smart — I am not that close to him in that sense. He loves comics and all and I am not so much there. One reason I started loving The Flash was because I saw Sheldon wearing his tee in a few episodes.

— Hygiene / Germ Freak: I am not so freakish about it. Maybe it is also a bit of an American vs Indian thing, and partly who I am, but that does separate me from him a lot :P

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Well trying to keep this post short. My main point in writing this is that I want my near and dear ones to know — that I may not have been the friend you deserved. This is not an excuse post but a post to acknowledge who I have been, and I am glad that in spite of my idiosyncrasies you encouraged, sustained, inspired, and tolerated me.

Thank You!

Race Report - Bangalore Half Marathon 2025

So this is about the half marathon I ran last Sunday 21-Sept-2025

Before going deeper — a big shoutout to Koustubh, who inspired me to register for this run. He’s been pushing me to sign up for a few events now, and I kept declining. A few more colleagues from office had also registered, and when Koustubh finally signed up, I couldn’t resist. Watching his training and consistency pushed me too, and I ended up registering a week after him. For the last 3–4 months, it’s been constant back-and-forth, pushing each other to get better.

Also — he gifted me one of Ranulph Fiennes’ books, about his Interpolar Global Expedition — attempts at both the North and South Pole, some in teams and some solo. That book shifted my perspective: the human body is capable of so much more. Honestly, it was depressing at times — here I was struggling to run 10 km while these superhumans were dragging hundreds of kilos across polar ice for months. But in the end, the book helped me — made me stronger, both physically and mentally.

Now, to Race Day!!

Let me take yu through that run — I was well… not so well prepared. Morning started with delays: 10–15 minutes late leaving home, then no cab for another 20. Drivers would accept, wait 5 minutes, cancel. Finally had to bump my bid from ₹175 to ₹260 just to get one. Somehow I made it on time, and my dear friend Koustubh was there to help me pin my bib.

It was cloudy and cool — I prayed it would stay that way, but it wasn’t to be. Crossed the start mat around 6:25, and in the first 200m my body already felt off. I thought, “Man, not today, don’t give up on me.” A few hundred meters later, all was fine. First 2 km I was just fighting the crowd — narrow lanes, packed runners, me weaving and overtaking. I’d earned zone C, but it took forever to find space.

Somewhere on the Track !

Usually I start sweating after 4–5 km, once rhythm sets in. That day, drops rolled down my forehead at 1.5 km. “Okay, this is going to be humid,” I thought. Strangely, it wasn’t as draining as expected.

Around 5 km, a thought hit me: Why do we do this? Why the hell am I even here? I told myself — “Not the time, dude. We’ll discuss after 15 km.”

By 8 km, I was cruising. Overtook the 3-hour bus, then the 2:45 pacer too. I wasn’t sure if they started in Section B (10 minutes ahead of me) or C, but either way it gave me confidence. My goal: best case 2:35, worst 2:45. Staying ahead of them meant I’d be fine.

In training, on 10-milers (16 km), I wouldn’t touch water till 12 km. Just rinse mouth, pour some water to cool down, maybe grab coconut water around 14, then finish the run. Same strategy here — ran till 12–13 km before my first stop.

But unlike Mumbai marathon — where you grab bottles and tetra packs while running — here everything came in plastic glasses. Had to stop, gulp, splash, then go. Annoying, but well-organized — aid stations almost every km.

At 10–12 km we entered Cubbon Park, and at 14 km came the dreaded U-turn. I’d seen that stretch earlier from the cab, and nerves crept in: downhill on the way out meant brutal uphill on the way back (17–19 km). From 11–16 km I wasn’t fighting the road, I was fighting my own thoughts about what was coming.

The inclines kept testing me. I wanted to quit, but David Goggins’ voice popped up: Don’t quit when it’s hard. Quit when it’s easy. That line carried me through every climb.

Also, I realized — if I stop at 12, 14, 16, 18, 20 — too many breaks. Better to extend. So I pushed: first stop at 12, then 15, 18, and 20, then finish. The scary incline turned out not-so-deadly — maybe I went slower, maybe the ORS worked, maybe both.

At one point after 10 km, exhaustion hit hard. I scanned my body: legs fine, chest fine, breathing fine. Nothing wrong, just fatigue. I laughed: Damn, I’ve got nothing to blame. Body’s fine, so no excuses. Kept going.

Fellow Runners from Office - each with their own journey and unique Story !

That last km was brutal. I couldn’t see the finish. Finally spotted the park entrance — thought it was over. Nope. Had to run past it, straight for 200m, U-turn, then back in. I actually stopped for a few steps — but then that inner voice shouted, Not now, not here. Pushed through. Crawled across the line: 2:30 stopwatch time, 2:30:15 official.

Some Stats for Nerds !

Afterward, I had no mood to walk, but still grabbed some breakfast. Koustubh dropped me close to home, I showered, ate lunch, and crashed for hours.

Pain lingered for days, but by Wednesday I was back at it — a light 10k. Friday, another 10k, 3 minutes faster, feeling even better.

And today (28-Sept - Sunday), I wanted to do a 10-miler, maybe stretch to 18. Ended up at 20 km. Strava said stop. I walked a few steps. But then that Goggins voice again: You reached here, so what? You stop? No. You push. So I pushed, completed the half-marathon distance again.

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🔥 That’s the race report. Not perfect training, not perfect running, but one more half-marathon in the bag.

The Traditional Movie Night before the big (Half) Marathon Events !

 So, the last half marathon was somewhere in 2015 and then couple of full marathon over few years and then some runs here and there and I always watch the movie - Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikandar (1992) - phew its been more than 30 years that the film was released..

Now there are many aspects of the movie I have Loved since a kid - it is hilarious, it is motivating, has Love and Heart Breaks too - so yeah - based on my current phase of Life i pick up different things. Also, yu all know my craze with 96 and 896 (read the post here - Post to 96) and this movie features a Jeep and it bars number 896 :D

The Ankle Weights !

So yeah - training part - I once checked and final training and race is just 20 mins of total movie - anyway - how Sanju who is shown as Happy go Lucky guy and sort of loser in sport and all - how rose to the challenge - defined his WHY and then went on to train (like a crash course) and eventually turned out a winner.. That inspires me and keeps me going during the run.

I'll keep it short as I need to wrap the day up. One peculiar scene I picked from the movie is cycling with ankle weights - so in Chennai I used to wrap 1 kg ankle weights on each leg and then cycle 30-40 kms. Also I used ankle weights while skipping and that helps me get faster. Also skipping and ankle weights - that was shown so nicely in the movie Bhaag Milkha Bhaag and that was released around the time I was in IIT in 2014 or so and I was training for the runs :)

Good Night for now and will be back soon !!

Running on Mental Toughness: My Half Marathon Strategy

If yu have followed my last post then yu know I am preparing for the Bangalore Half Marathon — and now just a few days to go. Have been off training for more than a month, and I was telling my office colleague (who pushed me to register for this event): I am totally out of physical training and so for a week I’ll do a bit of breathing exercises, a bit of core, and the rest — all Mental Strength.

Like — first 4 kms or so will come from basic physical strength. Then the next few kms I’ll manage because of my lung capacity. Another 3–4 kms from the newly worked-out core strength. And the rest — 8/9 kms — almost half of a half marathon — will be on pure Mental Strength.

Yes, on the 10 milers I’ve pushed myself beyond the pain threshold and hardened the Mind — I know I can rely on it when all else fails.

Just got in new shoes for the Run — need to break them in with a few runs so things don’t go horribly wrong on race day.

Lacing up the New Shoes !

It is only now that I realise what people mean when they say experience counts or you’re not starting from zero. My physical strength might be close to the baseline I had a decade back, but when I run, my form is still the same as years ago. Back then, I worked a lot on running form — and even now, my shoe wear pattern confirms that I’m striking the ground the way I want. Secondly, the experience of training — knowing that pain subsides, knowing how to fuel on long runs — helps me stay calm and relaxed going into this half marathon.

Thanks and Bye-Bye to Old Shoes
Yu can see the area near the Ball of Foot is worn out - that is where I strike the ground

AND — I’ve already run two full marathons. Sometimes I think: I am hardly pushing myself, so why the hell am I making a big deal out of this? I’m not even close to the edge of my limits. Far from it. But for now, I need to go through this phase to reach that edge — no shortcuts, no skipping the grind.

Reflecting on this strategy over the past few days, I realised something: mental strength also comes in different forms, like different muscles for different activities. Someone hyper-tuned for weightlifting may struggle with planks or squats. Same with mental strength — mine is hardened differently for different areas of life. Some strong, some weak. But for running long distance (yeah, at a decent pace — not sprinting like a world champion, but still speedy enough), I know my mental toughness works.

I can’t remember a single 10 miler where I didn’t have to overcome pain — chest sometimes, sole of the foot other times, or just heavy breathing after 2–3 kms. Each time, I just took one extra step, then another — and eventually the pain subsided. It always does.

Preping Up

At times, I ran 10 milers and more on back-to-back days, knowing the second run would always be on sore or broken legs. From step one, I knew it was going to be challenging. To sharpen mental strength further, I never carried earphones on long runs. First half, I’d let the mind wander. Second half, I’d bring it back to focus — on every element of running: Am I striking the ground properly? Am I leaning forward just enough from the ankles? How are my shoulders and elbows?

I haven’t been able to get proper visualization training in this time, but I know — when all else fails, when the body is out of energy — that’s when I’ll dig deeper and use mental stamina. I know I have a lot of it, but I also know it takes its toll. So my plan is simple: cruise through at least 12 kms on basic muscle and core strength (skipping, planks, leg raises with ankle weights) — and then dig deeper into mental toughness for the last stretch.

Would love to hear your story and belief around Mental Stamina and Strength. Do yu intentionally incorporate mental training exercises in your daily life?



Related articles - 

My Last 10-Miler in Sweden

Running — My Happy Place!

Stupidity or Greatness - Getting ready for another Half Marathon !

 

I honestly have no idea. It’s mixed feelings right now. A week to go for Bangalore Marathon — something I had registered for more than 3 months back.

Back in February, I was focused on just building mileage without any event in sight, and I did well: 200+ kms, with many 10-milers. Then came a long break for a few months. June and July, I got back again — decent weekday 10–12 kms and some faster 10-milers.

Related Post - it-is-fucking-hard

Then August happened. Zero runs. And here I am, just a week away from the marathon. I went out for a 10 km test run — damn slow — and now I know exactly how far off I am from 21 kms (and any real speed).

14-Sept - Sunday - 10 km !

        

So, no choice but to build up and be as prepared as I can in these last few days. While most people are tapering, I’m just getting started. Added some core work and skipping as part of my “crash course” prep. Let’s see where this goes.

But yu know what — I’m still confident of finishing the half marathon next Sunday at a decent pace. And the reason is my past: how I’ve trained and completed full marathons before. Hard to admit, but my training has always gone in cycles — months of grind, then a lean/recovery period, and then I come back again. The one constant: I always come back.

In fact, before one of my earlier full marathons, I was also under-prepared. I had decent strength from gym workouts, but about a month before the event I stopped running seriously. Two weeks out, I was just doing 8–10 km runs and some skipping. Still, I managed to run a sub-5-hour marathon. That “easy success” is probably what fuels my confidence now.

But maybe that’s exactly what I need to question. Do I keep living in this cycle of mediocrity — showing up only weeks before an event, training just enough, and collecting a finisher medal? Or do I level up — build fitness year-round, keep improving, and perform stronger each time?

I’ve run two full marathons. Crossing 42 km twice should mean I’m capable of more, of better. And that’s the gap I want to close.

Anyway — this is what it is right now. I can’t go back and add mileage to August. What’s gone is gone. But I can make the coming days — and months — really count.

For now, the focus is clear: complete 21 kms next Sunday. And after that, keep pushing for more.

Wrapping up here — but I’ll be back with more updates on this half marathon journey :)

My Last 10-Miler in Sweden

 

25 August 2024 – My Last 10-Miler in Sweden

That Sunday marked my last weekend in Gothenburg. It was also the day I ran my final 10-miler before flying back to India. This post is both a throwback to that run and a log for my future self — something I can revisit and re-run through visualization whenever I want.

Getting Started

I spent four summer months in Sweden on a short-term assignment. The long daylight (till 10 pm!), crisp clean air, and traffic-free pedestrian paths left me with no excuse not to run.

Coming from India, where my training usually meant dodging traffic, the contrast felt unreal. Add to that the pedestrian-first culture at crossings, and running became a joy.

I started with short runs after office hours and soon worked my way up to 10 km. My regular loop was from my apartment near Central Station to Slottsskogen Park and back. That became my routine route — so much so that I even earned a Strava “Local Legend” badge for the first time in my life (I didn’t even know such things existed!).

Running with Company

This route also passed through Valand, where my teammate Seema (also on a short-term assignment from Bangalore) stayed. We ran several times together, and she set a fast pace.

I still remember my inner chatter during those runs:

• “Should I tell her to slow down and show I’m weak?”

• “If men’s marathon records are faster than women’s, how can I ask her to slow down? I need to man up :P.”

• “I’ve run 20-milers before — how can I admit I’m struggling now?”

So, I’d run just half a step behind her, silently thanking her for pushing me harder. Funny thing? Recently I learned she felt I was running faster and setting the pace.

Breaking Barriers

Once I got comfortable with the area, I wanted to attempt a longer run — all the way to Saltholmen ferry terminal. It was 11–13 km from my place, depending on the route.

One weekend I set the map on my phone, followed it, and finally reached the terminal. I even got clicked there — though I’m a terrible poser, the lady taking the photo made me do awkward poses with more enthusiasm than me!

That day I realized I could push beyond. I started mapping 10-mile distances in my head — calculating slopes, tram stations, and mental checkpoints:

• “60% left.”

• “One big climb ahead.”

• “Just four tram stations to go.”

Landmarks became my pacers, and slowly, that 10-miler turned into my standard long run.

Gear and Lessons

I usually run in thin-soled shoes (sometimes even canvas) — I’ve run marathons in them too. They wear out fast, but they suit me. In Sweden, I used Nike shoes for long runs (since I wasn’t used to so much mileage after a break), but I’d often get knee pain.

My gear was simple: shorts, t-shirt, phone, bus pass, and AirPods. I didn’t use music during runs — I wanted to be fully present. But on the tram ride back? Music on, shoes loosened, body drained but mind buzzing.

Why I Won’t Run Marathons in Cushioned Shoes

Route Snapshots

Friggagatan to Central Station
This stretch always felt like the warm-up, but also the danger zone. My mind would already start whispering excuses — “turn back, maybe tomorrow, maybe shorter today.” But when I ignored that voice and pushed on, it set the tone for the whole run. On good days, the legs felt light, and I knew I’d go far.

Quiet Sunday streets past Central Station
Crossing this area on Sundays was surreal. A place usually buzzing with trams, buses, and people suddenly felt deserted, almost like the city had paused just for me. I’d hear only my footsteps and breathing, and that quietness gave a calm rhythm to keep going.

Scenic windy section

One of my absolute favorite stretches — a small road curving with the breeze. Something about the openness, the air rushing past made me feel free, even playful. But it ended quickly, and I always wished it went on longer.

The statue landmark

This was my unofficial halfway marker — about 5 km in. Poseidon stood tall with his trident, and for me, it felt like a checkpoint: “half the battle done, now comes the grind.” Passing here gave a mix of pride and dread — relief that I’d made it so far, but also the mental shift that the easy part was over.

The long straight road
This section tested patience more than stamina. Nothing fancy, just a straight, endless stretch where the mind kept asking, “how much more?” It felt longer than it was, and the monotony sometimes made it harder than the hills.

The climb itself
The dreaded slope. Not the steepest hill I’ve ever run, but long enough to break rhythm and willpower. I’d switch to the shaded side for small relief, counting breaths and tram poles as micro-goals. Every step here was a fight, but reaching the top felt like unlocking the second half of the run.

From there, I’d run along tram tracks toward the ferry terminal. Usually, I’d push harder around the 14–15 km mark, desperately checking my phone for distance updates, praying for it to end. I always made sure to stop near a tram station so I could head back.

Funny Moments - 

So basically after above small under bridge pass I would run along tram lines till ferry terminal. Swedish people are just damn too active and fit and one funny incident I recall now - I was running at decnt pace from my standards and two ladies felt like they were jogging - looked effortless - passed my me in a breezy but wait a second they were having steady conversation and not panting and top of it both of them had baby strollers along with them and I was like Damn !

Wrapping Up

I’d then hop on a tram, slip off my shoes, and sink into the seat. Sometimes I’d change at Central Station, sometimes walk the last stretch back. My legs and knees would ache by evening — pain I don’t experience now in Bangalore, so maybe it was the shoes… or the pace.

That run on 25 August 2024 wrapped up my Sweden chapter. Fittingly, on the very night I was to fly back, I sneaked in one final 10 km.

I look forward to returning to Europe someday — to gather more miles, relive more routes, and keep writing these memories down.

ChatGPT interviewed me on my Vidden Trek Experience

Who Knew !

Who Knew that I'd have all the money in the world to travel — but nowhere to go

Latest phones with 5G — and no one to talk to

Who knew the last-bencher short guy would become a top-notch CEO

Who knew she would be rewriting the history books

Who knew his Olympic dreams would be crushed by a single accident

Who knew she would turn out to be the grittiest tennis player to ever play

Who knew a random outburst short video would spread like wildfire

Who knew a weekend hustle would change the world we live in

Who knew, from a family of doctors, she’d end up an engineer

Who knew years of grinding would make him an overnight success

Who knew asking for a pen on the first day of class would make them inseparable for life

Who knew playing in the filthiest lanes would build the strongest immunity

Who knew doctors could have the most beautiful handwriting too.

Who knew Pappu would become a choreographer

WHO KNEW !