My Last 10-Miler in Sweden

 

25 August 2024 – My Last 10-Miler in Sweden

That Sunday marked my last weekend in Gothenburg. It was also the day I ran my final 10-miler before flying back to India. This post is both a throwback to that run and a log for my future self — something I can revisit and re-run through visualization whenever I want.

Getting Started

I spent four summer months in Sweden on a short-term assignment. The long daylight (till 10 pm!), crisp clean air, and traffic-free pedestrian paths left me with no excuse not to run.

Coming from India, where my training usually meant dodging traffic, the contrast felt unreal. Add to that the pedestrian-first culture at crossings, and running became a joy.

I started with short runs after office hours and soon worked my way up to 10 km. My regular loop was from my apartment near Central Station to Slottsskogen Park and back. That became my routine route — so much so that I even earned a Strava “Local Legend” badge for the first time in my life (I didn’t even know such things existed!).

Running with Company

This route also passed through Valand, where my teammate Seema (also on a short-term assignment from Bangalore) stayed. We ran several times together, and she set a fast pace.

I still remember my inner chatter during those runs:

• “Should I tell her to slow down and show I’m weak?”

• “If men’s marathon records are faster than women’s, how can I ask her to slow down? I need to man up :P.”

• “I’ve run 20-milers before — how can I admit I’m struggling now?”

So, I’d run just half a step behind her, silently thanking her for pushing me harder. Funny thing? Recently I learned she felt I was running faster and setting the pace.

Breaking Barriers

Once I got comfortable with the area, I wanted to attempt a longer run — all the way to Saltholmen ferry terminal. It was 11–13 km from my place, depending on the route.

One weekend I set the map on my phone, followed it, and finally reached the terminal. I even got clicked there — though I’m a terrible poser, the lady taking the photo made me do awkward poses with more enthusiasm than me!

That day I realized I could push beyond. I started mapping 10-mile distances in my head — calculating slopes, tram stations, and mental checkpoints:

• “60% left.”

• “One big climb ahead.”

• “Just four tram stations to go.”

Landmarks became my pacers, and slowly, that 10-miler turned into my standard long run.

Gear and Lessons

I usually run in thin-soled shoes (sometimes even canvas) — I’ve run marathons in them too. They wear out fast, but they suit me. In Sweden, I used Nike shoes for long runs (since I wasn’t used to so much mileage after a break), but I’d often get knee pain.

My gear was simple: shorts, t-shirt, phone, bus pass, and AirPods. I didn’t use music during runs — I wanted to be fully present. But on the tram ride back? Music on, shoes loosened, body drained but mind buzzing.

Why I Won’t Run Marathons in Cushioned Shoes

Route Snapshots

Friggagatan to Central Station
This stretch always felt like the warm-up, but also the danger zone. My mind would already start whispering excuses — “turn back, maybe tomorrow, maybe shorter today.” But when I ignored that voice and pushed on, it set the tone for the whole run. On good days, the legs felt light, and I knew I’d go far.

Quiet Sunday streets past Central Station
Crossing this area on Sundays was surreal. A place usually buzzing with trams, buses, and people suddenly felt deserted, almost like the city had paused just for me. I’d hear only my footsteps and breathing, and that quietness gave a calm rhythm to keep going.

Scenic windy section

One of my absolute favorite stretches — a small road curving with the breeze. Something about the openness, the air rushing past made me feel free, even playful. But it ended quickly, and I always wished it went on longer.

The statue landmark

This was my unofficial halfway marker — about 5 km in. Poseidon stood tall with his trident, and for me, it felt like a checkpoint: “half the battle done, now comes the grind.” Passing here gave a mix of pride and dread — relief that I’d made it so far, but also the mental shift that the easy part was over.

The long straight road
This section tested patience more than stamina. Nothing fancy, just a straight, endless stretch where the mind kept asking, “how much more?” It felt longer than it was, and the monotony sometimes made it harder than the hills.

The climb itself
The dreaded slope. Not the steepest hill I’ve ever run, but long enough to break rhythm and willpower. I’d switch to the shaded side for small relief, counting breaths and tram poles as micro-goals. Every step here was a fight, but reaching the top felt like unlocking the second half of the run.

From there, I’d run along tram tracks toward the ferry terminal. Usually, I’d push harder around the 14–15 km mark, desperately checking my phone for distance updates, praying for it to end. I always made sure to stop near a tram station so I could head back.

Funny Moments - 

So basically after above small under bridge pass I would run along tram lines till ferry terminal. Swedish people are just damn too active and fit and one funny incident I recall now - I was running at decnt pace from my standards and two ladies felt like they were jogging - looked effortless - passed my me in a breezy but wait a second they were having steady conversation and not panting and top of it both of them had baby strollers along with them and I was like Damn !

Wrapping Up

I’d then hop on a tram, slip off my shoes, and sink into the seat. Sometimes I’d change at Central Station, sometimes walk the last stretch back. My legs and knees would ache by evening — pain I don’t experience now in Bangalore, so maybe it was the shoes… or the pace.

That run on 25 August 2024 wrapped up my Sweden chapter. Fittingly, on the very night I was to fly back, I sneaked in one final 10 km.

I look forward to returning to Europe someday — to gather more miles, relive more routes, and keep writing these memories down.

ChatGPT interviewed me on my Vidden Trek Experience

Who Knew !

Who Knew that I'd have all the money in the world to travel — but nowhere to go

Latest phones with 5G — and no one to talk to

Who knew the last-bencher short guy would become a top-notch CEO

Who knew she would be rewriting the history books

Who knew his Olympic dreams would be crushed by a single accident

Who knew she would turn out to be the grittiest tennis player to ever play

Who knew a random outburst short video would spread like wildfire

Who knew a weekend hustle would change the world we live in

Who knew, from a family of doctors, she’d end up an engineer

Who knew years of grinding would make him an overnight success

Who knew asking for a pen on the first day of class would make them inseparable for life

Who knew playing in the filthiest lanes would build the strongest immunity

Who knew doctors could have the most beautiful handwriting too.

Who knew Pappu would become a choreographer

WHO KNEW !

My Cookie Jar

This is a bit of self-praise. I was listening to David Goggins' audiobook, "Can't Hurt Me," where he talks about the concept of a "cookie jar." He suggests having a jar filled with achievements, successes, moments when we pushed our limits, and overcame challenges. During tough times, we can dip into this jar, using old memories to propel ourselves forward and overcome the present situation. So, what follows is my Cookie Jar! It might not be complete, and I'll keep adding to it as I move forward in life.

I've read "Psycho-Cybernetics" five or six times now. There's a concept in the book about using past successful memories to regain that winning feeling and help shift our mindset towards success. So, the cookie jar will assist me there too.

1. Marathon (Twice) - This stands as one of my greatest achievements, perhaps second only to stress analysis. Running a sub-five-hour marathon was monumental for me. When I started training, even 2.5 kilometers felt torturous due to my asthma. It wasn't a one-month journey but rather 3-5 years of on-and-off training, discipline, dietary changes, and more. Finally completing the marathon - twice - is something I'm incredibly proud of, something I should never take for granted.

2. Getting into IIT - This achievement ranks alongside, if not above, completing the marathon. After engineering, I was torn between pursuing a master's degree or starting my job (having secured a campus placement at LnT). During Diwali of my final year, my brother-in-law suggested I complete my studies in one go. I calculated that I had 100 days to prepare for the GATE exam. I created a 100-day plan for each subject and topic (below is the snapshot) and began studying independently. My cousin suggested I try studying abroad for an MSc or aim for the best institute in India, so I chose IIT.

So, in just 100 days of self-learning, I managed to secure around the 99.9th percentile - approximately 609th rank. Despite receiving few callbacks from most places, I received an invitation to interview at IIT Kharagpur. It was my first flight, and my dad accompanied me; it was quite an expensive trip. I shouldered the pressure; there was no option but to succeed. Fortunately, during my interview, only one of the two professors showed up, and I cracked it. I vividly recall sitting in my bedroom, checking the result while my mom was in the hall watching TV. When I saw I was selected, I punched the air with joy and rushed into the hall to share the good news.

Following that, I received a call from IIT Bombay; they had a written exam followed by an interview. Despite feeling homesick and not being in the best health, I aimed for Bombay and started preparing. Thankfully, I cracked that too. By then, I had already taken admission into Kharagpur since the official results were pending from IIT Bombay. It was around mid-July when I kept calling IIT Bombay, and a sweet and helpful lady provided me with a verbal confirmation of my selection.

Another unforgettable moment: I was at CST shopping for shoes, getting ready to move to Kharagpur with my mom and dad. Back in 2012, smartphones weren't as advanced, and I couldn't check the admission list online. I called my best friend and asked her to check it for me; she gave me the fantastic news of my selection, and the rest is history! :D

Well, that was a significant achievement - but it holds immense value for me. In 2012, while still a student, taking on the challenge of cracking GATE (considering there are individuals in coaching and attempting it multiple times), attending two interviews, and successfully passing both was a truly sweet victory. I strongly believe that getting into IIT has had one of the most significant positive impacts, at least in my professional career. I owe a huge thanks to my brother-in-law, brother, best friend, and parents - I had a robust support system back then too.

3. Stress Analysis - IITB - Another remarkable experience from IIT - a scenario where I found myself competing with the brightest minds from the top colleges across India. Unfamiliar with the surprise quiz concept, I scored merely 0.5 out of 5 in the initial quiz while the average easily stood above 5. Nevertheless, gradually settling into hostel life, refocusing on my studies, and dedicating significant time to the library, I found solace in meditation, which helped me navigate through the challenging transition of the first semester. Eventually, I not only regained my academic footing but also excelled, topping the final exam in stress analysis and securing the highest grade. It's a story I often revisit, marking one of the most satisfying comebacks in my life.

This achievement remains a cornerstone, propelling me forward, and I concluded my IIT journey with an impressive 9.4 grade.

4. CAT - Quants score of 99.99 - Like many others, I found myself in a mid-life crisis and decided to pursue an MBA, although I remained uncertain about it. In 2016/2017, I registered for CAT and prepared for about a month. I achieved a percentile of 99.99+ in Quants. Although I can't seem to locate the detailed results, my performance in English wasn't as strong, leading to an overall score of 97+%ile.

This experience served as a revelation, reaffirming my proficiency in analytics and problem-solving.

5. Cycling - Consistently covering 60kms - 80kms before taking a break. I accomplished this solo journey from Mahindra World City to Mahabalipuram via the back roads, almost every weekend, until I encountered a marathon DNF and ceased cycling altogether.

Presently, this holds significant importance for me, serving as a reminder of my capabilities. It reflects my potential and serves as a constant reminder that I hold the responsibility for my fitness journey - I gained weight, and it's up to me to regain my previous fitness levels.

The post will turn out to be a book and for others I am not going into details - 

6. Over the years I have been involved in loads of extra curricular activities - While these items might not directly fit into the concept of a "cookie jar," they serve as reminders of the richness and vastness of experiences I've accumulated in my life so far. Here are some:

    a. Juggling and unicycling - I managed to ride a unicycle in a straight line for a bit before I sold it. In juggling, I can effortlessly handle 4 balls and perform various tricks with three balls, three clubs, and more.

    b. Surfing - I took a crash course and was progressively improving (Mahabalipuram).

    c. Inline Skating - Picked this up during my time at IIT and became quite proficient and speedy. It not only improved my skills but also aided in shedding a considerable amount of weight, contributing to my overall fitness.

    d. Tennis - Initiated during my IIT summer school and continued during my tenure at Aqualily while at Mahindra. Those were hectic days, starting with a 5-mile run in the morning, a full day's work, and then an hour of tennis in the evenings.

    e. Solving Rubik's cube - Experimented with various algorithms and steps until I developed my own logic to solve it. Though my solving time of 3-5 minutes is far from the world record, the satisfaction was in arriving at a solution to this puzzle independently, rather than aiming for competition.

    f. Alto 800 - Purchased my first car! :D

7. Some work and study-related achievements:

    a. Winning Mahindra AutoQuotient Quiz competition - Despite only providing 1 or 2 correct answers in all four rounds combined and even giving a wrong answer in the last round, I emerged victorious, all thanks to Kartik - my flatmate, batchmate in Mahindra, Chennai, and a close friend. I cherish this in my "cookie jar" as a reminder of how fortunate I am to have such a supportive and fun-loving network. The prize was a trip to Malaysia - my inaugural overseas trip - sponsored by the company. Thank you, Kartik!

    b. PG Diploma in Machine Learning (after MTech)

    c. Winning the first prize in ISHRAE paper presentation (2012)

    d. Altair - Aug 2022 - Clinching the first (and third) positions in data science projects for Mahindra - marking my initial accolade in the field of data science! :D A beautiful trophy accompanies this achievement, currently in possession of my friends.

    e. Developing android Apps - Created a basic sudoku app with colored tiles instead of numbers. Although it's no longer available on the Play Store.

    

Lastly, I would be happy to hear your story and the cookies you have in your Jar !!

When you get more than you asked for - 2023 !!

After a break of about 2 years - 2023 Jan I started blogging again and wrote my first post of 2023 on Jan 1 - https://sandeeprshah.blogspot.com/2023/01/here-i-go-again-first-post-of-2023.html  This was followed by few medium posts - ie technical blogs. Has been a decent outing there and I wish to continue that too.

Now I post another one to close of the year.

It hasn't been a smooth sailing year. Lots of highs and a few really low moments—though not now, but maybe sometime in the far distant future, I might delve into the details. I wanted to get this off my chest before I delve into all the positive aspects of 2023.

In 2023, on 2nd January, I commenced my journey with Volvo, Bangalore, and my entire year has revolved around it. In my nine years of professional career, this is the first time I feel that it's the year's end—a closure of a chapter or whatever you may call it. It's time to come back next year stronger, bolder, and wiser. It wasn't something I was looking forward to; in fact, I never thought about this. But then, you experience it out of nowhere, and it makes me feel blessed. It also made me realize that 'This can happen too.' Most of my 2023 has been filled with these pleasant surprises.

Thanks to Christmas and the global/European culture, most people are on year-end leave. Some are celebrating Christmas, some are utilizing accumulated leaves, and some are taking well-deserved time off. Hence, I am relaxed too. I can refocus on new learnings, take a couple of steps back on other projects, view them from a different perspective, and continue the work next year.

Let me review the points I sought when transitioning from Mahindra to Volvo:

1. I desired my work to be more focused on data science/analysis and to have a support system aiding my machine learning projects—precisely what I found.

2. I aimed to collaborate with more data scientists—I eagerly sought this since my previous role lacked someone to turn to for machine learning queries. Had I been in a traditional CAE Crash role, I'd have had numerous experts to learn from, but not in ML. Fortunately, here at Volvo, I'm surrounded by a diverse set of minds and experts in my team. I learn something from everyone. In 2024, I hope to become an expert in any field to contribute more to the team, leading to a better win-win situation.

What else did I acquire unexpectedly—things I hadn't asked for initially (not covering all points):

From my perspective:

1. A cool culture—I adore the constant smiles, jokes, and camaraderie within the team. I seldom experience a serious day at work. People are committed to their work, as evident from the recognitions they receive, and it's a lively environment. Water cooler or coffee cup conversations are encouraged, and the infrastructure supports that too.

2. Working with intelligent colleagues—I'm constantly learning something new from everyone at work. Each person brings something unique to the table.

3. My Manager and Technical Lead (as I refer to them)—I've mentioned earlier that I've had good managers at different points in my career, and that continues here. I've formed bonds with my teammates with whom I can share every aspect of my life, contributing to my psychological well-being and happiness.

4. Continuous guidance—this is something I've always desired in my career, and here I receive it without even asking. The ecosystem ensures continuous feedback, and I can also proactively seek additional guidance when required.

Now, don't get me wrong about Mahindra—I had a really good time there too, and I had really good friends who helped me through thick and thin. Mahindra is where I started my work, and I was fortunate that my manager encouraged and pushed me to work in areas that were my strengths or things I enjoyed learning (automation back then). That actually laid the foundation for my other career moves.

I had colleagues there who helped me understand office politics—what should and shouldn't be done. I even took up the role of arranging monthly team meetings and yearly team outings—quite ironic since I don't see myself as a party person! Anyway, it was fun back there—except for the last six months or so when things seemed to come to a halt, and my daily motivation to go to work faded. That's when I felt it was no longer a win-win situation. In fact, I saw it as a loss-loss situation for the company and myself. I was fortunate to get the break with Volvo.

Okay, coming back to the title again—'When you get more than you asked for—2023!' Bangalore is notorious for traffic, high rent, and sometimes rude house owners—but I have that sorted out too. My house owner, who lives next door, has been great so far and always smiles when we cross paths. My office is about 4 km from home, and I take the metro and feeder bus, reaching the office in about 30 minutes or so. Thanks to the little traffic, I can catch up on my book reading for 20-30 minutes daily when the bus waits at signals.

Fitness—again, it's been on and off. There were times when I ran 8 km without much struggle and maintained the tempo. Today, I couldn't make it to 2 km but have been doing 5 km daily. Just before Diwali, I was at 78 kg (currently at 80 kg), the lightest I've been in the last three years. So far, so good.

Most of the things seem to have worked out!

I can't help but come back to point one. I don't believe in showing only half the picture; I want to present the complete picture. So when I started my work, I was happy, confident, and actually taking it slow. Things were okay-okay, and suddenly, I snapped. Some 2-3 months back, I felt defeated—I saw no way out, and my past victories seemed to offer little help. Then, my support system kicked in—my bestie, cousin, and my newly formed friends at the office helped me out, and now I'm back with new energy. I can dream again for a better tomorrow.

In my life, I've always felt that I got everything easily, and I hardly had to struggle for anything. Maybe this was a lesson to prepare for hard work (perhaps I was avoiding that) and to move ahead with a new perspective. I cracked IITB easily, and marathon training, though it took years, I could finish it with ease. Perhaps those things came naturally to me, so hard work didn't feel like work—I don't know. Now I am clear about what I want and in which direction I should move forward. This year-end relaxation couldn't have come at a better time.

I want to write something about FEA/FEM (Finite Element Analysis) and how it has shaped my career—but I will reserve that for the next post.

I would love to hear your story and your perspective on my story!"

 

Why you will win

Wanted to write something for a long time now but I wasn't taking out time as such. Now, traveling to Mumbai and waiting at Bangalore airport for flight - I did get some time to jolt down few points and give some updates and I am out of words and may be tired or what I don't know.

Small update - I finished a coursera certification course on pricing of options using mathematical models. I have partially received financial aid for GAN - specialization and I will be focusing on that for few days or a week or two before moving back to finance.

I am not mentioning details here - but remember what you went through past few months and where you are now. Be relaxed - focused and do use meditation and visualization a lot along with prayers and be grateful for everything. Losses - failures - part and parcel of life.

Focus on discipline - regular - everyday - day-in and day-out. You own your life. Compounding works - in exercise - money making or work or wherever. Remember these days when you going through tough time and how you overcame all the doubts and difficulties. Pay attention to continuous improvement.

Remember how you restarted running and skipping and started on journey of weight loss. I am 80 kg now - was once 88 and 4-5 years back I was 70ish. You were desperate to move to Mumbai and remember how you took small and impactful decision that helped you to move to Mumbai. If you could do back then - you can do it now as well and forever.

You are persistent and have an attitude of never giving up. You need to first have a goal and not deviate from it. May be take sometime to choose a goal but once it is fixed - I know you can have it. So here the issue is choosing a goal and having proper reason or meaning in pursuing the goal. Most of the time I half heartedly put my mind on the goal coz of external factors and then I didn't complete it. But remember Stress Analysis in IIT, marathon running, triathlon, trading and what not.

Secondly - somewhat repeated one - you need to know you have everything to be great at any point in time no matter the obstacle. You have all the ingredients in a perfect mix to be successful. I am sure you are 1000 times more successful than when you wrote this - but you still may be doubting yourself or have somewhat negative attitude a bit. Smash everything and keep pushing and achieving.

Stoicism reading is good too but sometimes it does make you negative but it does have some wonderful ways to live life. Reading BhagwatGita was the best thing you did - along with Hanuman Chalisa and developing or further strengthening faith in God and Universe and Almighty.

I am damn sure you are surprised with abundance and happiness life has given you - you always aimed low or may be you thought you aimed high but life had much more than that higher aim too. I am happy for you - for you health, wealth and abundance. You have been blessed with lovely wonderful kind hearted people in your life and you eventually took great care of them. I am glad you did that.

Reflecting on my marathon journey

 My reflections on my marathon journey has increased a lot in last couple of years. I keep revisiting my accomplishment for two main reason - why I succeeded ? And second is to draw on the experience of training and achieving for such a mammoth goal.

I didn’t want to be a one time marathon runner and so in 2017 I ran my second marathon in just under 5 hours.. I didn’t stop there and I was all set to set my personal best in my third run in 2018. All was well until about 15 kms from the finish line - I was struggling with pain in my left toe - having pain in different parts of body throughout the run was nothing new. Get a pain in shoulder, or stomach, or ankles - you ignore/acknowledge it but keep running. After a km or two the pain would go off..

This time however it felt different and after pushing for 3-4 kms I stopped completely, sat down and removed my shoe - there was a blood clot on left toe - reason - I didn’t cut my toe nail before the race. In my training or past runs I never faced such an issue or injury. That was it and I called it a day. This reminds me of one issue I encountered during half marathon- sore or bleeding nipples.. after like 17 kms - even touch of jersey was not bearable on nipples and from then on I practiced applying Vaseline there too. I have heard incidents from my friends where they started bleeding - I guess few things you need to learn the hard way and cutting my nails before run is one among those.

Started writing when I was at Mumbai airport and now resuming in Bengaluru airport bus - heading back to Bangalore house.. So, the big reveal - one reason I succeeded back then was my WHY ? Why I wanted to run.

I was not so much into sports from childhood and in 2011 or so a side effect of a medicine led to a breathing issue. On further investigation I realised I had asthma all these years - may be not so serious but a wrong medicine magnified it and I was out under medication. In a month or so I was leading a normal life but taking morning and evening medics was the norm and it was told to me that I’ll have to take it lifelong.

I was not ready to accept this and so I decided to take up marathon running - there are other reasons too behind this but this was the major reason to take something up of marathon magnitude.. I wanted to run and also show the world that this came be done by someone who not into any sports at all before. I also wanted to show that you can win over asthma and you can achieve anything and everything irrespective of your current past and present.

Journey sure wasn’t easy. I used to go breathless in 2.5km slow run. My IIT friends easily outran me daily. But I kept up to the task. At the same time I started reduced the dosage and frequency of my medication. There were so serious consequences and that proved that what I was doing was leading me into right direction..

Step after step, mile after mile and I completed half marathon in 2015 and 2016 my first full marathon. 2017 I managed a sub 5 hour marathon just by few seconds.. that was some achievement man :|

Then, as I would like to put up - life happened :)

Late in 2018 I bought a car, 1 year back I had bought a road bike - and used to go for 60km-80km long rides once a month. I was for and life was good. I used to do mini iron man too on Sundays.. I don’t know if it was car that I purchased or the reality that I DNF (I did not finished) a marathon or something else - I went into unhealthy habits. Using cycle very less, eating junk food more than the healthy one etc etc. also, one more info might be helpful- I was underprepared when I did sub 5 hour marathon- in fact I was out with friends for dinner party and slept post midnight. That in a way made me complacent and I further undertrained for third marathon and hoping to use my mental toughness (developed over last 3 years) to sail me through the finish line.

This is what I get when I look back on why I succeeded. Now a days I try to get back but I don’t have any big reason or anything to prove to anyone and so on tough days - I just give up and take a break. 

One major lesson I learnt and try to use it in new skills that I try to pick up is that small steps will lead to something big. Initial journey is going to be small and tough but that is the only way to the end goal. Be it trading or learning data science or may be learning to catch a wave using a surf board - I am going to fall at the start, it’s not gonna be easy and so having a proper WHY is necessary. I haven’t read Simon Sinek’s - Start with Why, but I do get it now what he means and he can’t be more correct in that.. your reason and passion helps you push on the days that you don’t feel like working out..

I know I have a hard time being consistent and so I accept that being consistent is not my cup of tea yet- but getting back after a knockdown and keep trying is my strength as of now. All I can do is keep trying again and again till I become consistent coz I ain’t giving up never..

Here I go again - first post of 2023

 I know I had written a post called last post and decided not to write any more. Well I decided to come back again and now never say never again.. many many years ago i did similar thing - I announced that I am retiring from running and won’t run again etc etc only to come back and complete two marathons.. lesson learnt - never say never again..

In 2021 I had decided to fail big and feel all the emotions. I did and I did fail big at times - sometimes at work and mostly in trading. This year I am done with everything and I just want to win and be happy. Well, being happy is state of mind and I can be happy at this very instant irrespective of what’s going outside of me. So yeah, need to practice on being happy and winning big. I am just going to go out and collect the reward points of my last efforts/karma..

New year new me but this year it’s also new city. Bangalore it is - rekindling old relationship or may be starting a new one- I don’t know yet. Well, I have transitioned to more data analysis focused role and I’ll edit the blog and update the company name in a week. Tomorrow is my first day in the new office. Have been doing house hunting for past 3 days and I didn’t feel it would be this hard or time taking. 1 week from now things would be more settled and I’ll start experimenting with new routine of meditation, studies, fun with friends etc etc.

Closing of for now - but stay tuned - I am going to write a lot more this year and keep publishing it.

Happy new year folks. Resolutions - no resolutions, new year - old year doesn’t matter. Past is history, future is mystery and today is gift called present - copying master Oogway..

The Last Post

Recently I have been running out of topics to write on. There are some very personal things which go in my diary. I have decided to end the blog writing, atleast this personal blog. It has been a long journey. Few posts appreciated few went unnoticed. I beleive u change and don't hold on to any experiments for long enough. Time to move on to something bigger and better and leave this chapter here.

The website will be live and all the posts available to be read anytime by anyone. No new entries.

Thanks Readers for all the Support!

Reflecting back on 2020

Hi Friends, 2020 may sound scary but let me capture how it unfolded for me and what were some key moments to highlight. It feels too mundane to write a post like looking back on a year, but I am writing this time mainly so that my future self can read and appreciate what I went through.

I would like to go to 2021 resolutions before going to 2020. This time it is very simple

1. I want to feel all the emotions intensely (except anger)-

    If I am Happy I want to feel every moment of it. Smiling and feeling energetic all around.

    If I am sad, I want to truly be sad at that moment, so sad that no joke can make me laugh, and so on.

    All the emotions are part and parcel of life, better to accept them and get yourself immersed in them. This way you can also better understand and manage such emotions and their triggers in the future.

There are situations when I get angry at someone or something and then I get angry at myself for getting angry. So, I wish to have better control over anger - a tough task.

2. My second resolution is to fail big - slow or fast - but big. You might have seen the movie pursuit of happiness, I want to go in pursuit of failures. There are several reasons for this pursuit - 

    1. All this year I tried to go behind success and mostly I found failures. So, going behind failures might land me into more success.

    2. It is said that failures are stepping stones towards failures, so the more failures I get, the higher I go.

    3. Failing big - like seriously - failing at a rocket launch, or being in F1 and missing out on the championship, etc. Not everyone can fail big - you need to be on top of your game to reach the top level of competition and then fail.

3. Then there are running goals around health, fitness, book reading, etc.

2020 - Nearly half of the year was spent in Chennai and in lockdown.

First of all big kudos to all of you, congratulations, well done, etc etc - for making it to 2021. This was trending a lot - people used to say making it through 2020 was in itself a big achievement. Well, I don't agree, Yes 2020 had new challenges which most of us didn't experience before - those were external circumstances - you still had full control over your inner self and most of the resources. I have friends who lost jobs and I have friends and relatives who opened up new businesses - so anything and everything was possible. My condolence to anyone and everyone who lost a near and dear one for no matter what reason. I wish you get over it and be at peace with reality.

March to June - Locked-down in Aqualiliy, Chennai - MWC -Nationwide lockdown happened in the last week of March. My cousin in the UK had told to me stock some foodgrains etc and thanks to that just a week before I had stocked foodgrains and other times for at least a month. It was tough for a week to get used to the new style of working and work-life balance. Then in May it was like let me learn something new or pick up some old hobby - juggling, playing with Raspberry Pi - surprisingly for me things didn't move forward.

My two flatmates, Jasprit and Shashank were in the flat and we were in this together. Shashank is a really good cook and thanks to him, in lockdown I didn't face any issues at least for food. In the process, I learned a few dishes myself such as Dal, Rice, Pasta, Rotis etc. Jasprit used to take care of other household chores. We would occasionally support each other in different tasks like someone will chop veggies, other will wash utensils, etc. Bringing groceries was for weekends. Any two of us would go and get the required items. Shaving each other support made those days less stressful.

In the month of July, I was able to fly back to Mumbai and have been here since then. After a couple of flight cancellations - I made it to Bombay. I was in a 14 days home quarantine - work was going okay-okay from home. I locked myself inside till almost August and then started the morning ritual from September. I was accompanied by my building friend Nupoor on morning walks. We were crazy back then - going for 6;30-7 am walks in heavy rain with jackets on. I say crazy back then, since around Diwali (in November) our consistency dropped and so did the rain. Anyway, so this morning routine helped to balance my health a bit.

Studies - I enrolled in an online PG Diploma (Machine Learning) course in September - one step towards self-improvement.

Fatness - I had gained a lot of weight before lockdown, so lockdown just added to the fat. In December I went keto for a few weeks and I was able to bring down my weight. As of now I am regulating my diet a bit, exercise a bit, and everything a Bit :P

I read Think Like a Monk and for the next month, I went insane and started meditating for 40-50 mins a day. I became less interested and involved in all activities around me and also at work. I was trying to ditch everything and leave a simple life detaching from my goals. I am not sure how and when, but I came out of that phase and I started focusing more on my goals and dreams. I also became more aware of my emotions and then their triggers. So then meditative phase was not a complete waste at all.

By Christmas, my Happy Phase fully clicked in and things are just going Super Fine now :)

Let me know your thoughts. I would like to hear your resolutions rather than what happened in 2020.

You might be interested in the following - 

2019-year-of-rejections

if-i-knew-that-was-last-time

a-decade-of-transition

It's Six!

The clock struck Six

It was time to make a Call

I was in a Fix

To get up or sleep off

A minute later I call

Only to hear a busy (dnd) tone

I don't give up and give another haul

This time it's the voice not unknown

'Haan Sid!' I hear

'Wake up, it's Six!' I say

Ten mins later a chime I hear

7:10 is what is Instagram says

We walk, We skip

We talk, We laugh

That's our typical trip

Which leaves us with pain in calf

Some of my older Poems -

thats-use

whats-use

some-thigns-may-be-better-left

Let's read and grow Together

 At a personal and professional level, it is time to look back on the 2020 goals and audit ourselves. Next step is to make a list of new year goals for 2021. One of my hobbies is reading and I didn't read this year as much as I did last year. Reading 12 books will be on top of my list for next year and I have decided to add a bit of twist to it. This year we have explored a whole new aspect of the digital world and I would like to merge both. My idea is to do a live reading session, just like we have zoom gym and meditate together, etc.

There are many aspects that I need to sort out before proceeding, let me list down one by one.

Start - 1st January 2021

Reading speed - Depends on the book, maybe 2 weeks for a book.

Which book - I haven't finalized the first one. If you want to join me on this, let me know your choice of book and we can start with it. We can be reading different books together, that is fine too.

Where will we meet - It will be either Insta or youtube live.

Time - 6 to 6:30 am in the morning, every day. It is difficult to find undisturbed time for ourselves and so I plan to pick this morning hour. This also makes sure we wake up early :P

Accountability - There are great books and research showing that having an accountability partner increases your chances of achieving your goal.

Let me know your thoughts and or queries. You can reach me through any medium.

How I got this idea - a couple of years back, there was a college student who started meditate together. Every day at 6 am we used to meditate in silence in our respective rooms for 21 days. I also attended Jay Shetty's 20-day meditation session on youtube and this too was my source of inspiration.

CA Rachana Ranade - she has a youtube channel. She has many courses, free lectures, paid, etc related to investments and finance. This is not the part, she also comes live daily at 6 am, where she interacts with her audience. She does 10 min pranayam and some 10 min reading with all. This was the major source of inspiration for me.

It is just another experiment for me and I hope to reach my target number of books this year. In the process, I would like to connect with my friends and learn from them and more importantly GROW together.

Waiting to hear from you :)

If I knew that was the last time

Having coffee at Starbucks with my Bestie - 2 years back, soak in the moment of joy and rush to catch my flight back to Chennai many things were left untold. There was a belief that we will meet again. It has been two years and I still don't know when we will meet. This was just an example. I have parted ways with many of my colleagues from IITB, Mahindra etc. No one knew that the last time we met would actually be the last time for a very long time. We have the luxury of technology to message or have a video call once in a while if we are not able to meet physically. Now, what if one of us is no more and that was truly the last time you said goodbye to anyone.

I am glad if you are still with me and reading on. It may sound depressing and sad, but that's the truth. (I might use sentences and phrases you might have already read). We all know about this situation but we miss its gravity in our day to day hustle. It is a good idea to reflect on this once a week or so. It can impact people in different ways.

Knowing that the future is not so certain, you tend to be more caring and loving towards your loved ones. You become more compassionate. You will start having deeper and meaningful conversations with anyone and everyone you meet, thus leaving a lasting impression.

Knowing your own time is limited - you can either go out and enjoy your life to the fullest. You can stop worrying about the future and start living more in the present time. You can decide to travel the world. Scuba dive, skydive. You can own the fastest and/or costliest car/plane/boat in the world. You can just live for yourself, making the most of the one life that you got ads of now. Automatically you will start prioritizing the things that matter to you and which brings you the most joy. Opinions of others will have no impact on you and you will be your true self.

Knowing that our time is limited - one can decide to focus on leaving behind a legacy in his field of work. Instead of enjoying life all by oneself, one will just focus on solving real-world challenges. Serving others without thinking about personal gains. One can dedicate her life to building the most iconic cutting edge automobile or give her entire energy to serving people, serving the hungry, educating the needy, or fighting against injustice.

You can decide to be the greatest in history in your profession. It can be sports, politics, education, music, anything, and everything. There can be other paths too and I would be happy to hear it from you.

No matter what you choose - I just wanted to remind and reiterate that our time is limited and make sure you spend quality time with your friends and family.

Thanks for reading and hope to meet you soon :)

Where were you 5 years back

We often try to answer where we will be 5 years from now? especially in interviews. The real question we should be asking ourselves is where we were 5 years back and how did we get here to the present day. I read this on another blog post - La Dolce Far Niente – The sweetness of doing nothing. This made me reflect back on my life and I try to answer this question in this post.

5 years back - 2015 - this was the year when I purchased my first vehicle - an Activa. Next month I will be celebrating the second anniversary of my Alto. So definitely, a lot has changed over the last 5 years.

5 years back during Navratri, I entered MRV (Mahindra Research Valley, Chennai) for the first time. This was my first job after college and my base location was Chennai. It was during Navratri that I took a train from Mumbai to Chennai with my batchmates to report on duty. Much of my last 5-year lessons have come from in and around Chennai.

The first thing after moving to a new city is to get a place to stay. I rented a flat with two other batchmates, ie who joined MRV with me. I didn't appreciate back then enough, but now I can see they were a family to me and helped me get through some good and tough times. They were always there - whether to celebrate someone's birthday to get over a disappointing appraisal at work. Thanks to this experience - I learned to adjust to others. Sometimes some of the roommates can be annoying, and you learn to fix the issue or get the patience to deal with it.

Staying away from family and with other bachelors meant that we have to take care of ourselves from food to clothes, from rent agreement to fixing household appliances. Along with work, we had to manage the house too. Especially you realize what all things are required to run the house. The different items include foodgrains, fruits, etc. Then soaps and detergents. Bedsheets, curtains, shoe polish etc. There were so many things I took for granted or ignored when living with parents in Mumbai, thanks to this experience I can now fend for myself if and when required.

The friends just make the learning process more fun. We used to mock each other for not knowing some of the basic things and we learned from each other's experiences. You also learn to divide the responsibilities and I think this is important for the post-marriage phase. Each one takes up what he/she likes and then you evenly divide the chores that no one likes but are essential.

Office - for most of my batchmates, this was the first corporate experience and it is hell a lot different from academics. The experience you have at work is very much dependent on the type of reporting manager you have. I was lucky I had a good manager to start off my career and he helped me play and grow to my strengths. Much of my current success is because of the freedom I got in the first year. Later on, it has been more or less smooth sailing. If you need anything, a raise, a resource, extra time, etc you need to ask for it. You will hardly get anything without asking. The good part - most of the time you will get a Yes for whatever you ask for.

The job also gave me a salary and it was a tough learning lesson to manage it. I started investing, having fun, buying things I liked, started saving recently, etc. I started filing my income tax returns too, like most salaried employees.

There are two takeaways for me here - 'Everyone in the corporate world is Selfish' - told by a senior

'You don't get promoted to the next level and then start learning or taking new responsibilities. You get promoted because you have been doing what is expected at the next level.' Told by super senior and this helps me to keep pushing at work, to do more than the current role requirement.

Sports - I was already into long-distance running by 2015. I ran my first full marathon after moving to Chennai. I ventured into cycling which helped me to push my endurance limit. I used to go for a 60 km solo ride and with friends, I was able to push 80+ km and explore new routes. The society where I stayed had a tennis court and I was able to continue Tennis over there, I started tennis in IIT. Tennis was just for fun, especially after office hours. The main take away was my Road bike and long-distance cycling. I was lean a couple of years back and then I got into experimenting with diet. I went vegan for three weeks, then after some time, I went on Keto. Things backfired after Keto and lack of motivation helped me gain around 10 kgs in the last couple of years. The lockdown didn't help either to get me in shape. I am on my way to recovery to get back to my 2015 weight target.

Going abroad - My first trip abroad was to Malaysia. Thanks to my friend, flatmate, and colleague - Kartik Ganesh, as a team we won Mahindra Auto Quotient and the first prize was a trip to Malaysia. He had been abroad before and it was great traveling with him. This was in 2017, then in 2018, I went on a Europe trip with my family. This was possible because my Cousin staying in UK.

Let me summarize the above points - 

2015 I was a graduate student and entering into my first job. I am still in the same company but with a 5-year experience under my belt.

I completed 2 Coursera specialization on Machine learning and I am onto my PG Diploma in ML/AI.

From Marathon runner - I have become almost a couch potato

Crush - All my crush got married

I went to Chennai 5 years back, coz of this Covid I have been in Mumbai for the last three years and doing work from home.

In the last 5 years, I have learned to develop mobile apps.

I can cook a couple of sweet dishes and also make basic dishes like Dal, Rice, Roti, etc.

Type in the comments about your most significant transformation in the last 5 years.

Shah Rukh Khan - Then and Now

 In one of my earlier post I said Rab ne bana di jodi is one of my favorite movies, I might have seen that movie like more than 20 times. Recently I stumbled on Dil toh Pagal hai - 10 times I watched it last month. I used to think I like Kuch Kuch Hota Hai more than Dil toh Pagal hai, but I was wrong. After watching a few of his other movies recently I saw some commonalities between his roles back then and now. ie for movies which are like 10-15 years apart. I will list some of the eye-catching points - 

1. Rebirth

a. Karan Arjun (1995)
b. Om Shanti Om (2007)

In both, the movies Shah Rukh dies once then takes a rebirth. For quite some time he doesn't have a memory of his past life and then there is Eureka moment in the movie and he recollects everything.

2. Dancing

Well, actors do dance in all the movies, I am not talking about such a dance. I would like to mention movies that were built around the art of dancing.

a. Dil Toh Pagal Hai (1997)
b. Rab ne bana di jodi (2008)

In Dil toh pagal hai he plays the role of director of a dance/music show. Rahul (Shah Rukh) finds his love when he is in search of a new dancer for his next show. In Rab ne bana di jodi, he plays dual character, and interestingly, the name of one of the characters was Rahul.

3. Coaching

Rahul definitely likes to coach. I guess he might have been a teacher if not an actor. Movies - 

a. Chamatkar (1992)
b. Mohabbatein (2000)
c. Chak de India (2007)

In Chamatkar movie - Shah Rukh plays the role of a cricket coach of a college team. In Chak de India he is a hockey coach and in Mohabbatein he is a Music teacher - coaching students on Love :P

4. Trial Room

a. Dil toh Pagal Hai (1997)
b. Rab ne bana di Jodi (2008)

Here I would like to mention or highlight about a particular scene getting almost repeated - A deja Vu sort of moment. If you have seen the movie then you know it :D

5. Chased by Dogs

a. Dil toh Pagal Hai (1997)
b. Badshah (1999)

6. Wrong Number

a. Dil toh Pagal Hai (1997)
b. Kuch Kuch Hota hai (1998)

In Dil toh pagal hai - Shah Rukh accidentally dials in the wrong number on the night of Valentine. It goes to Madhuri Dixit instead of Karishma Kapoor.

In the movie Kuch kuch hota hai - there is a mix up at the airport - the receptionist transferred the wrong call to Sha Rukh. This happened because of the name 'Anjali' - the name of his daughter as well as his college colleague.

7. Music

a. Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa (1994)
b. Dil toh Pagal Hai (1997)
c. Pardes (1997)
d. Mohabbatein (2000)

In all these movies Shah Rukh played one or the other instrument and music played a big role in the movie.

Hope You Enjoyed it!

One at a Time - II

Almost a year back I wrote a post - One at a Time - a snapshot of the same can be seen above. That was very brief where I was trying to make it poetic. In this post, I would like to revisit some of those items and give an actionable plan to anyone who wants to go down that path!

Want to run a marathon -

Start off with 1 km a day for a week. You just run continuously for 1 km. Before and after the run, walk atleast 1 km to warm up and cool down. After that you can ramp up each week and each month. Starting from 4th week you should be able to run 5 k daily at a comfortable speed. You can then move to variations like running up and down a fly over. Running fast 3 km one day and on another going for slow 6-7 km run.

The whole point is first to get out and keep moving. The main point of this post to stress on the point that to achieve anything, we have to start and keep moving. The start has to be small and mey be slow too but movement is important.

Coding - 

New to coding - it is natural to feel down looking at all the machine learning hype going around. People will say you need to learn Python or R or something similar. Tons of materials available online paid and free. My advice is to pick minimum 2 and max 3 resources and start going through those course. I too was once a begineer and no one skip these baby steps. Atleast for first month, you have to sit through 2-3 hours daily and keep writing as many lines of code as possible. Best is to pick up a task and then go about writing a code for the same. This also involves learning to build logic and break down complex problems in small steps.

My second point, break down any any any task in small steps and even the impossible becomes possible. I did follow this task breakdown in building my first android app and it worked wonders. You just can't go big if you don't understand the fact that - You need to go small and into the details to eventually go Big one day.

Waking up early - 

You might have heard - 

You need to sleep early to wake up early

You need to have a goal which makes you wake up early

You need to plan ahead to make sure you wake up early

the list goes on and I am not denying any of it. I want to add one more (if you haven't heard it before)

Wake up early to make sure you sleep early the same day. If you are used to sleeping late, then it becomes tough to change the sleeping time. What I follow is, no matter at what time I sleep, I'll wake up early. I'll have an extra cup of coffee in the morning to get through the day, but at the end my body gets tired and I am able to sleep early and also wake up erly the next morning.

Writing a book - 

If we breakdown the task then it is like you have to write a paragraph or a page each day and then increase the number of words you write each day. Guess what, there is another way around too. You can start a blog and write a post once a week. You can write short stories on FB and whatsapp story. You can write a paragraph - motivating or clarifying technical issues raised by your friend. Once you get the hang of writing, you can easily transfer that skill in writing a book.

Exercising - 

The last one that I want to cover it up here. If you can wake up early,then getting to exercise won't be tough. My intention in writing this is to highlight the third point - having an accountability partner or a friend. In compnies we have our managers, TL or delivery deadlines to keep us on our toes. We need to have something similar in personal life to be on our toes. Thanks to my building friend who helped me get back to my morning routine. It started in August, we used to go for short walks at around 7:15-7:30. It was like 4-5 days a week. We had our ups and downs. We keep pushing each other to wake up early and then sweat it out hard on court. Now we are able to hit the park much early, cover more distance and also dedicate time for body weight exercises.

Take away - have an accountability partner.

Conclusion -

1. Movement is key, if you don't move or take action - nothing is gonna happen - Sorry for that.

2. It is good to have big aspirations, models and big guys to look upto it, but remeber you have to take small steps while starting out. There is no shortcut. It is journey your idols have gone through and now it time for you to walk that path. Be patient and kep Pushing - One step at a time.

3. Big projects or goals can be achieved  if you are able to break it down into small manageable goals. Just follow the plan and have trust in yourself that eventually the big goal will be achieved.

4. Have an accountability partner.

Sandy's top 10 Chocolate picks

Hello friends. Thanks for the overwhelming responses to my previous post. I look forward to connecting with you guys even more through my blogs.

This post is about chocolates - the ones that I have had a lot in my past and I will continue to have them without restrictions. This might be a short one as compared to previous reads.

1. Cadbury Crackle

I had when I was a kid and I have it now whenever I am about to fly to Mumbai. I believe and follow that before leaving the house for any key event or travel it is auspicious to have something Sweet. If I am in Mumbai, I will have Curd and Sugar. I have been in Chennai for the last 5-years and Crackle was my go-to Sweet.

2. Amul Bitter Chocolate

I am a big dark chocolate fan. I like things which are Bitter. I have had loads of different dark chocolates - some from Pondy, some from Europe, few from Goa, etc. They were like once in a while. The Amul chocolate which takes the list is the one I have regularly. I got this a year back - 90%. Before this, there was Amul Bitter chocolate - 75%. Dark chocolates are considered to have health benefits too and I used to have this daily before going to the office.

3. Parle Melody

This is more of a toffee kind of thing. These can be found on office tabletops or my office drawer. There is a famous advertisement where the actors keep asking - 'Melody itni Choloclaty Kyun Hai?'  I don't know the answer but I find Melodious.

There was a revival of Melody in my Engineering days. My bestie and close friend group used to like this a lot and so I got a company to have it whenever and wherever I wanted it. The second push was in Mahindra where I used to keep this in my fridge and office drawers. Mostly having it after lunch.

4. Cadbury Gems

Here comes another Cadbury product - Gems. The best and most attractive part about Gems is the varying color it comes in packed as one single entity. If you had a sibling whos fav color was different then yours then you would have enjoyed it, otherwise the elder one gets what he/she likes. I used to break the outer shell just a bit and then consume it - just for fun. It is really good to see Gems getting new promotional videos.

5. Cadbury 5 Star

This is a sticky chocolate bar and doesn't melt easily kept outside of the fridge. There was a 5-star Caramel flavor launched a few years ago and I liked it more than the traditional one.

If you observe - this is the third Cadbury product on my list. Cadbury also came up with a celebrations pack - it will have a collection of 8-12 different Cadbury products packed into a gift box. This still sells a lot during Rakshabandhan and Diwali. I like the concept - this must have been a big changer for Cadbury in terms of profits.

One last thing - Cadbury is associated with the tagline - 'kuch meetha ho jaye aaj pehli tarikh hai'

6. Nestle KitKat

It is a wafer biscuit or a bar covered with chocolate. Like Gems, this promotes sharing and caring. There would be packs of different sizes. You just can't buy and have a KitKat as is - you have to follow a set method to open the pack and then cut it off in different parts or different fingers.

Kitkat is also associated with the tag line - 'Have a break, have Kitkat'. Below is an illustration of how to and how not to have a KitKat. Recently they have launched Kitkat dessert delight - never had it though. Let me know if you have tried it out.

7. Cadbury Perk

I don't want to count how many Cadbury products I am adding. Perk is again wafer bar dipped in chocolate. I used to go to Perk whenever I didn't feel like having 5-star. Perk holds a special place in my life now. They used to write that Perk comes with glucose energy and so I made it part of my long-distance running. I used to have a bite of it and then disappear for long runs. This is part of the Marathon running kit and I have one every 10-12 km.

8. Nestle Milky Bar

This was complimentary to actual dairy milk. I don't have this now anymore. I can't understand now why I liked it 2 decades ago. I just know one friend, Roshni, who likes white chocolates. Yeah, this is white chocolate and I would never think of having it again. Sorry!

9. Snickers

This is more of a recent sensation or rather a Chennai sensation. In Chennai, I used to go shopping with my flatmates at weekends. We used to buy a week's grocery and related items on weekends. The supermarket guys are smart and they know that the chocolate rack should be put close to the counter. There used to be a queue for billing and naturally, the eyes wandered here and there. That is when picking up a snicker bar became a habit. Obviously, I liked it and so it became a regular affair. Nowadays it comes in different variants - plain, nuts, almond, etc. Try it every weekend.

10. Cadbury Eclairs

If you have been to big Bazar/DMART before the intrusion of digital payments, then you know what eclair is. This is used to come for 1 rupee and whenever there is no change at the counter at the supermarket they used to give us Eclair. They might have changed but still prefer to give Eclair, obviously, they made a huge profit of it, anyways. I have been given Eclair far more than what I have purchased on my own. Nowadays I have moved Melody and haven't had one for a long time. Tomorrow seems a good time to grab one.

If you guys liked it - I request you to get out of the house (with a mas) and go grab your fav chocolate.

Looking forward to your comments.

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